Believe it or not, almost everyone you know has suffered some form of psychological trauma; perhaps from an extreme illness or injury, heartbreak, abuse, intense grief, or catastrophe. When we go through personal crises such as these, we can experience symptoms of trauma that include: anxiety, anger, depression and grief. This may be more common than you think.
According to the National Institute for Mental Health, mood disorders affect nearly 21 million adults in the US and major depressive disorder is the number one cause of disability in Americans aged 15-44. These numbers are staggering but are likely underestimated as they reflect only cases that have been diagnosed and reported. In addition, these numbers do not include other common issues such as anxiety and panic disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or chronic mild depression.
Those suffering from psychological trauma or extreme stress may have trouble “holding it all together” and as a result may “come unglued.” This can manifest as social withdrawal, angry outbursts, anxiety or panic attacks, depression, drug or alcohol abuse, and/or disordered eating. Physically, we have trouble sleeping, experience muscular aches and pains, headaches and fatigue.
When this happens we may feel like we are “stuck”. It can feel like our emotions are quicksand; we are caught in a quagmire, unable to find a way out. The quicksand of our emotions may be pulling us down and down.
Is it possible to become unstuck? What can we do to escape the quicksand?
It is not an easy process, but it can be done. How do we begin?
1. As with quicksand, be still. Look at your situation and how you got there. Realize that getting out will take courage and mindful determination; that destructive coping behaviors will cause you to sink further. Now BREATHE. When we find ourselves in a stressful or desperate situation, our breath becomes shallow and rapid. One way to counter this is to try to slow your breathing pattern. Try to count the length of your inhale and exhale. “One, Two, Three” “One, Two, Three, Four..” It is not so much about getting more air in, but about slowing your rate of breathing in and out and allowing the belly to rise and fall naturally.
2. Michael Singer, the author of The Untethered Soul, refers to it as a talkative roommate; I once heard it called it the Yama-Yama Man. Whatever you choose to call it, we are referring to the ceaseless chatter going on in our minds; everything from how do I look, to I can never be good enough, to why is my life such a mess. Notice how that voice is never quiet? No one wants a roommate like that. Evict him/her, especially when he/she is talking trash about you.
3. Now that you have found a few quiet moments without your noisy brain chatter, be aware that you have found yourself in a situation. It maybe a terrible one at that. Try to view that situation as though you were watching it on TV. You are watching a TV episode. The episode is not you. You are outside of the TV– simply watching. You have the remote control. You have the power to switch stations to a happier alternative.
4. Once you have made the decision to change the channels of your attitudes, life and wellbeing, try to imagine what channel, movie or situation would bring you utmost joy, lifting of spirit, or delight. What does that feel like inside your body/mind? Do you feel lighter? Uplifted? Robust? Loved and Loving? Hold on to these feelings. Store them in your mind and body. Use these feelings of delight like mouthwash for your brain. Bring them in, swish them around in all the dark folds and recesses, and spit out the old, stale, unwelcome thoughts, attitudes and behaviors.
5. Hold on to these feelings you have just experienced. Practice coming back to them as often as possible. Nurture them. With time and attention, they will grow.
These steps are not meant to over simplify a complex situation. They are intended to offer simple tools that are easily accessible and can be utilized at any time. Happiness and wellbeing are your birthright. Take ownership.
“Turn your face to the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.” Maori Proverb