Hello January. A new year has dawned yet again, proving the constancy of the Universe.
Once again as we flip the page on the calendar, we’re compelled to think about this new birth and how we can make change in our lives. Hence – the obligatory, annual resolution(s).
Have you made yours yet?
Statistics generally agree that only about 9% of us keep our resolutions. The most common of which are saving more money and getting into shape.
While these are worthy goals, it does beg the question of WHY we can’t seem to stay true to our resolutions? WHY is the parking lot at the gym empty in March? WHY do we seem to start over EVERY year?
Followed by the next question…
HOW do I make my resolutions/goals so that I ensure success?
This is the point where professionals (like me), go into our spiel about S.M.A.R.T. goals. You know this by now:
S - Specific
M – Measurable
A – Attainable
R – Realistic/Relevant
T – Time bound
Any google search will elaborate on this to your heart’s content. Not that this is wrong or unhelpful. This is a proven goal setting method. Today, however, I’d like to visit (or re-visit) a different technique. Perhaps we can rethink how we develop our goals/resolutions so that we don't arrive in March feeling as though we’ve failed.
You see, most of us, when we have a goal or a desire, think something like this:
If I DO X, I will HAVE Y and then I will BE Z.
In this example: If I exercise 4x/week and eat fewer carbs, I will have a healthier body and lose weight and then I will be happy with myself.
Create your own resolution statement using the formula I just described:______________________________________________________________________
Ok – this is probably true – but clearly if only 9% of us succeed, we’re missing something.
Our traditional way of thinking is this DO HAVE BE model.
What if we gave that paradigm a big ol’ kick in the pants? Shuffle it up. Get radical. Make it work for us, rather than against us?
Here we go! Consider this shake up:
BE DO HAVE
In the BE DO HAVE paradigm, we start with who we want to be. Let’s pick happy. Most of us want to be happy – right?
What does happy look like to you? What do you look like and feel like when you’re happy? What are some of the things you incorporate into your life when you’re happy?
Get a good sense of what happy feels like to you.
Your work is to then BE that vision of yourself. BE that image of what you look like and act like when you’re happy.
[Take a moment now and imagine it. Are you free of stress, calm, kind, generous, vigorous? What is it for you? Feel it. Embody happy]
When you’re happy, what are some things you might do to take care of your happy-self? Do you find ways to move mindfully that enhance your happiness? Do you find joy in preparing healthful meals to nourish your happy-self? What does happy DO?
What we find, is that as we learn to BE happy and nurture Happy by D0-ing/caring for ourselves in a loving happy manner, our bodies release the unhappy emotions and energy we have stored up as tension, anxiety and yes – even fat. Then – almost like magic – we HAVE the healthy, vital body we thought we had to strive for or beat ourselves up for.
BE DO HAVE
Try rewriting your resolution with the BE DO HAVE paradigm. What does that look like for you?
Write this down somewhere where you can see it daily. Practice BE-ing. Post a photo of you in your BE-ing state. Simply BE.
Watch what happens.
It may take a little practice. For many of us this is a radical new concept. But I encourage you to give it a try.
For 2019 – Who and what will YOU BE?
I’d love to know what you come up with! Please feel free to contact me and let me know.
Until the next time..
BE well!
(Title credit – William Shakespeare)
Photo by Matthew Henry from Burst